Holy Mother Forking Shirt Balls

Guys – three kids is NO JOKE. I’m sitting here in this not so common situation where Zachy is at preschool and Daphne and Leo are both sleeping – life has been CRAZY since we added a third kid to the mix and it’s only been three weeks. When do you sleep? Or eat? Or shower? Or pee?! Questions everyone thinks exist with your first baby, but like with three of them, seriously WHEN?? My current brainpower is being taken up by trying to wrap my head around basically keeping them all alive, but I’ve got a lot to figure out when it comes to a schedule. I’m not talking about anything complicated; meals, baths, school drop-off/pick-up, literally the basic life essentials. It’s giving me a little anxiety about adding work back into the mix…

I semi don’t know what to do with myself in this moment, but feel like I need to take advantage of this who-knows-how-long period of time where I’m not feeding or holding or consoling a child.  My anxiety got me thinking about work and the culture we have created in America that so heavily pulls mothers (and fathers) from their infants entirely too early – but I can’t help but try to push myself to get back into the swing of things.  I’m not – don’t worry, I like writing so I’m letting myself do that, but it’s crazy that I’m sometimes trying to convince myself I’m ready for more (cut to me crying for no reason yesterday, and quite often since we’ve been home from the hospital as per usual postpartum hormones do to you). Life is so fast paced and there’s so much pressure to keep up and expectations to stay afloat no matter what happens – and shit ALWAYS happens.  It’s exhausting, but it’s like we don’t even realize it because we’re all so used to it.  All this lifestyle does is make time go faster, makes us more stressed which makes us unable to enjoy the good things in life because we’re too busy thinking about or doing other things. We’ve created a monster, people, and we need to destroy that monster. Life is way too short.

*FUN FACT: I wrote this a week ago and haven’t had a second to post until now 🙂