I know how it is. You’re the reliable one – always there to help everyone else, you get shit done and you feel guilty as hell if you ever have to cancel plans or reschedule meetings.
Why is it that the second we make a promise to ourselves, make a new goal, try a new thing – we quit so easily? It comes down to our mindset. Maybe it’s the way we were raised. Maybe it’s how we perceived life as an adult when we were children. Maybe we had experience with being let down by others, and we strive so badly to be the helper. The fixer. The doer.
Let me tell you the biggest issue with this logic: when you’re only doing for everyone else, you’re completely ignoring the MVP…yourself. You feel like a hot-mess, always behind, stressed and overwhelmed unhappy and lost human being. You take offense easily. You let things bother you for way too long. You feel like everything is happening to you. You’re the victim. You have no control. Everything is hard. Why can’t you just have your shit together like everyone else?
First of all, newsflash – everyone else feels the same way, so stop comparing. Second of all, the solution is simple. Learn to prioritize your own happiness, and everything becomes much easier.
Will you have less meetings, stress, issues, or drama in your life? No, probably not – but the way that you REACT to it will be completely different. And that, my friend, is the golden ticket. That’s how you find peace. That’s how you finally acquire self-love, understanding that it’s not selfish but necessary for you to thrive in life.
So how do you get there? Here’s what I know to work wonders:
Personal development is so underrated. I think most people don’t know how to do it – or they try one, it doesn’t speak to them, and they just assume that all PD is the same. Search for the one that speaks to you, because I guarantee it’s out there and once you listen to it or read the words you will feel so understood it will give you goosebumps.
Do you know why this works? You need to re-wire your brain. You literally need to start reading about how to think differently – and that is not an easy job. You don’t know everything. You don’t know how to change this. Luckily for us, there are a lot of people that do know – and thanks to podcasts, you can even get the good stuff for free. Search for the topic you need help with and try out different things. Don’t give up – your soul mates are out there ready to enlighten you.
VISIONS + GOALS
Set goals, make those promises to yourself and re-commit EVERY SINGLE DAY to them. I think our biggest flaw when we try new things is we get really motivated one day, and then make all these goals and plans, and then we assume that we will always maintain that level of enthusiasm. Write down your goals, envision yourself reaching them in detail, and re-commit every morning first thing. This practice has worked wonders for my mindset, and my goals.
Ready to eye-roll me? Freaking exercise. Every. Single. MF-ing. Day. Your body needs it. Your mindset needs it. Your confidence needs it. Your hormones need it. Just do it – find something you love that pushes you outside of your comfort zone and get it done.
I don’t care what your goals are. I don’t care if they have nothing to do with changing your body or training for a physical event – this is one that you need to do no matter who you are.
EAT VEGGIES + DRINK WATER
Eat 5 cups of vegetables a day and drink half your body weight in ounces of water. I don’t care if you don’t change anything else about the way you eat – commit to the veggies + water. Our bodies need so many different micronutrients – and the best place to get those is from our veggies. Most people I talk to barely get 2 servings of veggies in a day, drink 3 cups of coffee and some water when they brush their teeth, and then they wonder why they constantly struggle with cravings and binging. Your body needs more – but you’re giving it the wrong stuff. Try the veggie + water trick, I dare ya.
You don’t have to do this alone. Find a friend or accountability group that you can check in with and be inspired by regularly. I used to be so resistant to this because I’m a do-it-myselfer, but you guys it is such a huge part of this journey. Not only does accountability work, but you will feel so much less alone on this journey. If you’re already in a group and you don’t participate, that doesn’t count. Get in there and show the F up.
Everything today is so fast paced. We race through our daily life without thinking twice about 90% of the decisions we’re making. 90% of our decisions come from our subconscious mind…NINETY PERCENT. Start to pay attention. Start to focus on the things that trigger your emotional eating. Start to become aware of your body, and your moods, and your habits. Once you can consciously notice them, problem solving and focus areas become much more clear.
Let me know how you do after you implement!