PINCH ME, PLEASE

Today.was.insane. So many things are happening and I don’t even know where to start but I know I want to get my thoughts on paper because I’ll be grateful I did later.

If you told me 4 weeks ago that I would be in this exact spot I am right now, I wouldn’t have believed you. I feel like my entire life, every event, every incident, every decision, every second has lead up to this moment. For the first time, I know for sure that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be and doing what I’m supposed to be doing. I don’t know if it was luck, or coincidence, or all of my guardian angels in heaven looking out for me, maybe it was all of this combined.

After being told I was chosen to have my 80 Day Obsession journey followed on The Today Show, I was sitting with my husband and talking about how we couldn’t believe it was real life. He said “it’s what you want the most, and you’re getting it”. We talked about how for so long I’ve had these mental issues and negative self talk, essentially holding me back from fully enjoying my life. I remember saying how mad I was that I couldn’t be fully happy. That I have so many things that are amazing in my life; my ridiculously patient, supportive, unconditionally loving husband, my sweet and wonderful children, a close, enormous, crazy Greek family, the best friends anyone could ask for. A house, a job, etc etc etc.

How stupid is that? How could I not be happy? It felt like quicksand, the more I hung on to that thought, and hung on to that feeling of how I should be feeling, the worse it got, and the less and less I was able to find a program and stick to it without giving up. It started morphing into feeling like maybe I just couldn’t do this anymore, maybe I’m not capable of doing a hard program that gives me results, maybe I can learn to live with how I look and feel and love myself as is? This also, was seemingly impossible, because I’ve always had an issue with loving myself and being content “as-is”.

So they call me and tell me I’m going to be on The Today Show on a Wednesday. The show started that following Monday, and so did my journey into the 80 Days that would change my life forever. It’s only been 3 weeks. 21 days. I’m a different person. I’m fully committed to myself and this program, because I decided to be. Because I want it more than anything, to be happy and enjoy my life and my husband and kids, for as long as possible – not in a month, not after I lose weight, not when unicorns appear and pigs can fly – now. During. Always. Because I choose to; every minute of everyday, from here on out. It’s not easy, but that’s what makes it so worth it. ✌🏼

xoxo